May 18, 2013

Draft Night: Going Long

April 26, 2013 by Leave a Comment

The Chicago Bears selected Oregon offensive guard Kyle Long with their first pick in the NFL draft, 20th overall, and the first words out of Mr. Long’s mouth when speaking to the Chicago media were that he didn’t expect to be taken so high.

And those were also among the first words out of the mouths of most Bears fans, right after “Who’s Kyle Long?”

Long is the son of Raiders Hall of Fame defensive end Howie Long and the brother of Rams defensive end Chris Long and is said to be the best athlete in the Long family.

Outside of these significant facts, however, Kyle Long doesn’t have as sturdy a football background as you might expect.

Kyle Long started his collegiate career at Florida State after turning a down a chance to play baseball for the Chicago White Sox but didn’t last long as a Seminole, derailed by a DUI and substance abuse.  He then spent time away from the game before going to a junior college and then Oregon where he was a part-time starter and actually would still be at Oregon if it were up to him but the NCAA denied him another year of eligibility.

There are many instances in collegiate sports of guys wanting to leave for the pros only to be told they’re not ready.  It’s not often that someone wants to stay in college and is told he can’t and then gets drafted a round or two higher than most expected.

Bears general manager Phil Emery said he has had his eye on Long for some time, saying he was the best offensive lineman at the Senior Bowl and is enamored of Long’s athleticism and versatility noting that he will start his career at guard but can easily, in Emery’s estimation, move to tackle on either side if needed.

Emery isn’t the only one who envisioned Kyle Long coming to Chicago.  NFL draft guru Mel Kiper, Jr., of ESPN, had said he could see the Bears taking Long.  Mike Mayock, of NFL Network, raved about the selection, saying, “He’s one of my favorite players in the draft.  He’s one of the most aggressive offensive linemen.  He’s a gifted kid.”

Long came across as humble, mature and determined when talking to the media after his selection saying he’s “…looking forward to the opportunity of trying to earn the respect of my teammates and hopefully be able to help the Chicago Bears.”

Oh Halas, we hope so, too.

The Bears have quality players at quarterback; running back, wide receiver and tight end and an innovative, creative offensive mind in new head coach Marc Trestman.  So if they can block a little better it’s not crazy to say they’ll be 19-0 this coming season and be declared the Greatest Team in The History of God and Man.

Or maybe they’ll go 11-5, make the playoffs, and have an outside chance at the Super Bowl.

Offensive linemen are always popular picks on day one of the draft.  The Kansas City Chiefs selected Eric Fisher, an offensive tackle out of Central Michigan, with the top overall pick and he was followed by Luke Joeckel, an offensive tackle out of Texas A&M, who went second overall to the Jacksonville Jaguars.  In all, nine offensive linemen were taken in the first round on Thursday night, the most ever.

Drafting big uglies to block for the glamour kids is usually the smart, safe move especially in a draft like this one, which offered no Andrew Lucks, Robert Griffin IIIs or Justin Blackmons.

Offensive line is the only position in which it’s easy, or at least easily conceivable, to switch a guy who struggles.  It’s not uncommon for a player to start his NFL career at left tackle only to be moved to the right side and then maybe to guard.  Not to say that all offensive line positions are interchangeable but there’s always a chance to find another spot for a big guy either because he’s floundering or the team is needing.

Other positions are a little more stagnant.  Not many fellows enter the Sunday league as a receiver and then find they’re better suited for safety.  Who is going to draft a quarterback in the first round and then a year or two or three years later decide he’d be better off at fullback? (Tim Tebow???)

It would be fun to see a 300-pound lineman struggle up front and then get moved to punter.

It would be a lot more interesting to see a punter moved to the line.

The 20th overall pick in last year’s draft was wide receiver Kendall Wright who went to the Tennessee Titans and caught 64 passes as a rookie.  Number 20s in the previous decade: Adrian Clayborn, Kareem Jackson, Brandon Pettigrew, Aqib Talib, Aaron Ross, Tamba Hali, Marcus Spears, Kenechi Udeze and George Foster.

Of all those guys the only surefire Hall of Famer is Foster, a different George Foster, the baseball player.   And, whoops, he’s actually not in the Hall of Fame.  How the hell could George Foster not be in the Hall of Fame?  Hitting 52 home runs in 1977 and having the most rockin’ sideburns outside of Wolverine should surely get one a bronze plaque in upstate New York.

Which brings us back to Kyle Long.  Five years ago the Chicago White Sox took him.  He said “no” but maybe there was something about Chicago that stuck with him.  Kyle told reporters Thursday night that after his pre-draft visit with the Bears he had a “great feeling about Chicago.”

It’s December 29th.  Snow is falling at Soldier Field and the NFC North crown is on the line.  That “great feeling” is Kyle Long flattening a Packers defender as Matt Forte sprints toward the endzone.  The roar of the crowd swallows all doubt.

Draft night: It’s a dream builder.

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The Slowly Approaching Good Days

April 19, 2013 by Leave a Comment

The NFL has released its 2013 schedule, officially providing Jon Gruden with a five-month countdown to calm down to the point of broadcast coherency.

The Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens will play the season opener on Thursday, September 5th, in Denver against the Broncos, whom the Ravens outdueled in an epic double-overtime divisional playoff game last January.

There are unconfirmed reports that 76,000 Broncos fans have already found their seats for the season opener but in fact they have been frozen in shock at Sports Authority Field (along with Rahim Moore and Tony Carter) since that January 12th loss.

The Broncos will be facing a much different Ravens team this time, though.  Ray Lewis is gone and so are Ed Reed, Anquan Boldin, Paul Kruger, Matt Birk, Dannelle Ellerbe, Cary Williams and most of Steve Biscotti’s money.

Biscotti celebrated Baltimore’s Super Bowl win first by buying new light bulbs for the Superdome and then gave a $126 million contract to Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco.  Flacco is due to portray Johnny Unitas in an upcoming movie and is rumored to be willing to give at least $63 million to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for a seat at Maggie Smith’s table at the 2015 Golden Globes.

The Super Bowl winner always plays the first game of the new season and usually at home, but the Ravens will be on the road because their baseball counterparts, the Baltimore Orioles, refused to reschedule their September 5th home game against the Chicago White Sox.  It’s very strange that the Orioles swallowed a big drink of the “won’tbugdees” because usually the only ones to say “no” to the NFL are Charlie Ward and the 3.8 million people of Los Angeles.

After the Broncos and Ravens get the 2013 season off to a high-scoring, bubbly beginning, other intriguing Week One matchups include Falcons @ Saints, Packers @ 49ers, Giants @ Cowboys and, in the Monday Night Football doubleheader, Texans @ Chargers and Eagles @ Redskins, a game which could feature Robert Griffin III relaxing on the sidelines in a hyperbaric featherbed alongside Stephen Strasburg.

The Broncos and Ravens not only start the season on Thursday night but are the only teams with two Thursday night games, with the Broncos hosting the San Diego Freezing Our Bolts Off on December 12th and the Ravens will host the Steelers on Thanksgiving night after the nation has already gobbled up Packers @ Lions and Raiders @ Cowboys.

Technically, however, the opening game on Thursday, September 5th between the Broncos and Ravens is not a Thursday game and neither is the Thanksgiving game between the Ravens and Steelers.  The NFL is so powerful it can even change a Thursday to a Sunday as Broncos-Ravens is listed as a Sunday night game because it’s on NBC, same with Ravens-Steelers, whereas other Thursday night games are on NFL Network.

Cool?  Disturbing?

So, depending on how you look at it, like say, if you think Thursdays really are Thursdays, the Ravens will make two Thursday appearances during the 2013 season.  Or, if you insist that Thursday is only a Thursday unless it’s called a Sunday, then they don’t make any.   The Ravens do play an actual Sunday night game on Sunday, December 22nd at home against the Patriots but never play an actual Thursday game on a Thursday.

Please write that all down.

What about Mondays?  The Ravens are scheduled to play on one of those and it will be on Monday – yes, really – December 16th in Detroit.

The first person to say, “what about flex scheduling?” gets a thumb in their eye.

Who cares, right?  We live in a 24/7/365 world of pigskin.  The calendar doesn’t list NFL games; rather it’s the NFL season that gives meaning to the rest of the year.

The NFL is king.  Baseball, basketball, hockey, politics, the stars and moon are mere satellites orbiting Planet Goodell.  The NFL plays on Thursdays, Sundays, Mondays and Saturdays and is on our minds and in our hearts on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays and every day.

It’s a good life.

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Pat Summerall, 1930-2013

April 17, 2013 by Leave a Comment

“Phil Pozderac.”

“Vernon Dean.”

If mere mortals speak these names of mere mortal players they sound dull.  Maybe even squeaky.  But when Pat Summerall uttered the name of a Dallas Cowboys lineman or a Washington Redskins cornerback those players assumed the majesty of noble warriors.

They became gentlemen of the gridiron.

In his 40 years as an NFL announcer, Pat Summerall had a voice and a delivery that were cool, confident and smoothing, even amid inaccuracies.  In a 1985 game between the Cowboys and Chicago Bears, Summerall said Bears rookie Keith “Or-TAY-go” was in to return a punt.  The next time Ortego took the field Summerall said “I’ve been told the correct pronunciation is OR-tuh-go.”

Simple.  Direct.  It may seem like a small thing but there must be a reason it’s remembered by at least one person nearly 30 years later.  It was the way a broadcaster should be: devoted to accuracy and subtlety.   It was just the way Summerall did things.

Pat Summerall’s career as a broadcaster of football, golf, basketball, tennis and other ventures followed an impressive stint on the field.

He played defensive end, tight end and place kicker at Arkansas and was selected by the Detroit Lions in the fourth round of the 1952 NFL draft.  He stuck primarily with kicking in the pros but occasionally put his hand in the dirt on offense and defense, playing with the Chicago Cardinals from 1953 to 1957 and then for the New York Giants from 1958 through ’61.  He finished with 100 career field goals and 563 points.

Summerall was as cool on the field as he was in the booth.  In 1958 he kicked a last second 49-yard field goal amid the snow and wind at Yankee Stadium to help the Giants beat the Cleveland Browns.  The Giants needed that victory to force a playoff with the Browns a week later, which they also won before losing to the Baltimore Colts in the NFL Championship Game, “The Greatest Game Ever Played.”

Summerall’s jersey numbers over his ten NFL seasons were 84, 85, 83 and 88.  When was the last time you saw a kicker with an 88 jersey?  It was probably Pat Summerall.

When Summerall was with the Giants the team’s defensive coordinator was Tom Landry.  The offensive coordinator was Vince Lombardi.  Since Summerall played on both sides of the ball he was coached by both of them.

Maybe Summerall should have become a coach.

Pat Summerall’s life wasn’t perfect and neither was he.  He was born with a “bum leg” which had to be surgically broken and he spent the first six weeks of his life in a cast.  His parents, as Summerall writes in his autobiography, Summerall: On and Off the Air, didn’t want him and he was brought up by relatives, primarily his grandmother, who struggled to provide for him during the depression and World War Two.

Summerall learned the art of storytelling from his grandmother and developed into a superb athlete and broadcaster but a flawed person.  His autobiography begins with him describing finally getting treatment for his alcohol abuse.  The year was 2002.

Imagine a poor kid from a small town in Florida with a bad leg.  He listens to the radio, reads the sports pages and runs and jumps under the watchful eyes of an old woman who tells him stories about the Civil War and lets him know he is loved.

There were voices in Pat Summerall’s soul and power in his leg.

There was delight and dignity in his voice.  From a small town in the South to a snow day in New York to the ears of several generations who listened closely.

 

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Jack Pardee, Harlon Hill

April 2, 2013 by 1 Comment

A week before Christmas in 1977 the Chicago Bears went to New Jersey and, on a very cold, snowy day, rode the legs of Walter Payton and the foot of Bob Thomas who kicked a 28-yard field goal in overtime as the Bears beat the New York Giants, 12-9.

That victory earned the Bears a playoff berth for the first time since their championship season of 1963 and set off a celebration across Chicago.

Those good feelings lasted just a week as the Bears got crushed in the playoffs by the Dallas Cowboys but still, ’77 was quite a year.

The coach of that Bears team was Jack Pardee.  He was in his third season having gone 4-10 his first year and 7-7 his second before his terrific year of ’77.  Pardee appeared to be poised for a long run in Chicago but then, shockingly, a week after losing to the Cowboys, he quit to take over as head coach of the Washington Redskins, the very team that the Bears kept out of the playoffs with their victory over the Giants.

Pardee spent three years with the ‘Skins and never made the playoffs.  He later took over the Houston Oilers, making the postseason four times but never reaching the Super Bowl.

Jack Pardee’s success as a coach followed his toughness as a player.  He was a linebacker with the Rams and Redskins from 1958 through ’72, and was All-Pro in ’63.  He played his college ball at Texas A&M and was one of the famous “Junction Boys” who survived coach Bear Bryant’s notorious training camp in 1954, in which players were worked relentlessly in the searing Texas heat while being denied water breaks.

Pardee is now a member of the College Football Hall of Fame.

Jack Pardee was tough.  A year after making All-Pro with the Rams he sat out a season to battle melanoma.  He was also versatile.  He coached teams that preached tough defense and teams that lived on the Run and Shoot.  He is the only man to ever be a head coach in college football, the NFL, the USFL and the CFL.

Jack Pardee has died at the age of 76.

Some coaches won more trophies.  Some players made more headlines.  None had more love for football.

 

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If anyone starts a Hall of Fame for guys with cool names Harlon Hill would be voted in on the first ballot.  Hill was also a hell of a player.  Hill played receiver (or “end” as it was called in those days) from 1954 through 1961 for the Chicago Bears before spending his final year, 1962, with the Lions and Steelers.  He was a Pro Bowl selection ’54, ’55 and ’56 and All-Pro in ’55 and ’56.

Harlon Hill twice passed the thousand-yard mark as a receiver and led the NFL with 12 TD catches in ’54 and nine in ’55.  Those numbers would be a bit tame today but remember, the league was not nearly as pass-happy back then and the seasons were only 12 games.  (Having said that, some of Hill’s receiving records still stand in Chicago.)

Hill was great as a pro, and legendary in college.  He attended Florence State Teachers College, which is now known as North Alabama, played on both sides of the ball and was an NAIA All-American his senior year.  Since 1986 the Harlon Hill Trophy has been awarded to the best player in Division II college football.  Winners include former Chicago Bear Johnny Bailey and current Patriots running back/receiver Danny Woodhead.

What might be the coolest thing about Harlon Hill?  He was Elvis Presley’s favorite football player.

Harlon Hill is being mourned now.  He has died at the age of 80.

Hill was a humble man who, by his own admission, battled alcoholism and then became exactly what he went to school to become: a teacher.

A book written about him is titled Victory After The Game.  An excerpt details some of what Hill would say to groups of people who wanted to learn from his life, and struggles.

“….Then I tell them how tough Harlon Hill really was; how he could indeed outmaneuver larger men in a boy’s game, but he could not ever muster the courage to push over a thing as small as a bottle.”

We remember Harlon Hill as a football player.  He probably wants to be remembered as a teacher.  And as someone who learned.

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Goodbye, Brian

March 21, 2013 by Leave a Comment

After they shot the sheriff the deputy didn’t have much of a chance.

Two and-a-half months after firing head coach Lovie Smith, the Chicago Bears announced on Wednesday that the team was unable to agree on a new deal with All-Pro linebacker Brian Urlacher and thus, after 13 seasons, #54 has been told to clean out his locker.

Urlacher’s departure is not a shock.  Due to age, injuries and perhaps the sequestration, he is not nearly the player he once was, thus giving the new coaching staff and management a perfect opportunity to tear up that shag carpet that the previous owner insisted was holding up the walls.

It’s going to be weird seeing the Bears take the field without Urlacher, a man who has been the face and barbed wire bicep tattoo of the franchise since 2000.  The Bears now seem to be a team without leadership and identity but they do have the $2 million they were willing to pay Urlacher for one season.  Brian believes he is worth more than that but the Bears don’t think so and neither does any other team and once the Bears realized they were in a bidding war with themselves they quickly put away the wallet and told the icon to take it or leave it.

He left it.

Urlacher says he still wants to play and if he is healthy he can certainly help a lot of teams, at least on first and second down.  It creates a strange situation.  Urlacher didn’t want to play in Chicago for $2 million but now will certainly be offered even less than that to play for a new team in a strange city with different rules about whether the ketchup is kept in the refrigerator and the peanut butter is stored in the pantry.

Urlacher continued Chicago’s long legacy of great linebackers following in the footsteps of Mike Singletary, Otis Wilson, Wilber Marshall, Doug Buffone, Dick Butkus and Bill George and played alongside another Pro Bowl regular, Lance Briggs.  Butkus was the best of that bunch and Urlacher likely ranks second, even ahead of Singletary.  But Singletary does have one thing Urlacher never will: a Super Bowl ring that says “Chicago” on it.  Urlacher did come close, leading the Bears to the big game in 2006 but fell short against Peyton Manning and the Colts.

Urlacher’s legacy, if not his current employment status, would be a little different if the Bears had won that game.  Or maybe Brian would still have a home at Halas Hall if he had just been a little more fan friendly.  Just last season Urlacher criticized Bears fans for booing the team and despite his dominance on the field, Urlacher never really seemed beloved off of it.  Perhaps if Urlacher were more of a fan favorite the Bears would have been more inclined to keep him.  Or maybe if Urlacher related more to fans he would have been more willing to accept $2 million to play football for one more season.

Whatever.  Cuddly guys don’t make good linebackers.  Bears fans want their guys to be truculent and true.  Everything else is just icing.  Brian Urlacher ran fast, hit hard and played to the whistle.  He was an extraordinary athlete, an unquestioned team leader and one of the best Bears of them all.

But at some point even the best have to say goodbye.

 

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Good New Bears

March 13, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Super Bowls aren’t won on the first day of free agency but bad memories can, temporarily at least, be pushed from a row boat with a cinderblock tied to their neck.

The Chicago Bears are wearing out the Blu-ray of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and trying to write a sequel called The Solved Mystery of the Distant End Zone by ridding themselves of players who refuse to move their lawn chairs from their comfy spot at midfield and replacing them with guys who like to block, catch, run and snuggle against the goalpost with ball in hand as cheers and cash rain down.

Toward those ends, when the NFL free agency period officially opened on Tuesday the Bears pounced like a fat guy on a dropped Twinkie.

The Bears addressed two dire needs by signing offensive tackle Jermon Bushrod and tight end Martellus Bennett, two gentlemen who are expected to, respectively, help quarterback Jay Cutler stay on his feet, and catch the ball that Cutler will then have a much better chance of throwing since he won’t be choking on a defensive end’s fist.

Bushrod made the Pro Bowl twice with the New Orleans Saints and has started the last 54 games, which means he’s good, he’s durable, and will probably jab a thumb in your eye if you make any jokes about his name.

Bushrod will start at left tackle with the Bears replacing J’Marcus Webb, a chap whom, the last few seasons, was the weakest link on an offensive line that offered less protection than a drunk panda with a wet noodle.

Bennett moves into the starting tight end position, bringing with him a resume that includes 55 receptions for 626 yards and five touchdowns last season with the New York Giants.  That’s about twice as many catches, yards and scores as all the Bears’ tight ends last year combined.

Somewhere Mike Ditka is punching a snowman.

Are Bushrod and Bennett – besides providing hours of alliterative silliness – the keys to turning a decent Bears team into a Super Bowl winner?  Yes.

When we wrote “yes” a second ago we meant to write “Hell yes.”  Just kidding.  The Bears still need to figure out what to do with their own free agents – including Brian Urlacher – and also still need to draft a solid pass rusher, remember Matt Forte’s phone number, and hope that new head coach Marc Trestman really is as smart and innovative as only the Bears seem to think he is.  But, for the first time since coming to Chicago in 2009, Cutler now has a Pro Bowl receiver – Brandon Marshall, a Pro Bowl running back – Forte, a bona fide Pro Bowl blocker – Bushrod, and a tight end – Bennett – who was the last three Pro Bowls still saved on his DVR.

Free agency has just begun, the draft is more than a month away and the regular season doesn’t start until September.  But the Bears are off to a good start.  They are acting with urgency.

Super Bowls aren’t won in March but momentum is built.  So build that thing, Bears.  Grab a hammer and tell the children to get out of the way.  Spit a nail into the wind and bleed into yesterday.

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A Democracy of Champions

February 15, 2013 by Leave a Comment

The Baltimore Ravens hoist the Vince Lombardi Trophy as Super Bowl Champions having won the National Football League crown for the second time in 13 seasons.

Since Baltimore’s last Super Bowl triumph 12 years ago the Super Bowl winners have been New England, Tampa Bay, New England, New England, Pittsburgh, Indianapolis, the New York Giants, Pittsburgh, New Orleans, Green Bay and the New York Giants again.  That means since the turn of the century only seven different cities have finished atop the NFL heap.

Over that same time, 16 teams have reached the Super Bowl: Baltimore, the New York Giants, New England, St. Louis, Tampa Bay, Oakland, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Seattle, Indianapolis, Chicago, Arizona, New Orleans, Green Bay and San Francisco.  This means half of the NFL has played on the final Sunday since the 2000s began.  One more than half if you include the Tennessee Titans by noting that they played in the Super Bowl (losing to the St. Louis Rams) in January, 2000.

Of the NFL’s 32 teams 18 have won a Super Bowl: Green Bay, the New York Jets, Kansas City Chiefs, Colts (Baltimore and Indianapolis) Dallas Cowboys, Miami Dolphins, Pittsburgh Steelers, Oakland Raiders, San Francisco 49ers, Washington Redskins, Chicago Bears, New York Giants, Denver Broncos, St. Louis Rams, Baltimore Ravens, New England Patriots, Tampa Bay Buccaneers and New Orleans Saints.

The Buffalo Bills have never won a Super Bowl.  Neither have the Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns, Houston Texans, Tennessee Titans, Jacksonville Jaguars, San Diego Chargers, Philadelphia Eagles, Detroit Lions, Minnesota Vikings, Atlanta Falcons, Carolina Panthers, Seattle Seahawks or Arizona Cardinals.

The Browns, Texans, Jaguars and Lions have never even reached a Super Bowl.

The Super Bowl, of course, does not – as much as everyone wants to seem to believe – encompass all of NFL achievement.  The Super Bowl has been around for 47 years, which is about how long the NFL existed before it started referring to the championship game by using Roman numerals.

If you look at NFL championships before the Super Bowl era, the Browns claim titles in 1950, ’54, ’55 and ’64.  The Lions were NFL Champions in 1935, ’52, ’53 and ’57.  The Eagles won it all in 1948, ’49 and ’60.  The Cardinals – while playing in Chicago – won titles in 1925 and ’47.

The Houston Oilers (now the Tennessee Titans), Buffalo Bills and San Diego Chargers all won American Football League titles before the Super Bowl era and never had to, (or perhaps never got the chance to is the way to say it,) face the NFL champs at season’s end.

If you include the NFL titles before the Super Bowl era  (and not the AFL titles) then 22 of the league’s 32 teams have been world champions.

How does this compare to other sports?

There are 30 teams in Major League Baseball and 22 of them have won a World Series.  The only teams to never have an October (or early November) parade are the Tampa Bay Rays, Texas Rangers, Seattle Mariners, Washington Nationals (previously the Montreal Expos) Milwaukee Brewers, Houston Astros, San Diego Padres and Colorado Rockies.  The Mariners and Nationals are the only teams to never even play in a World Series.

The National Hockey League has 30 teams and 18 of them have won at least one Stanley Cup.  Six teams – Washington, Ottawa, Florida, Buffalo, Vancouver and St. Louis – have reached the Stanley Cup Finals at least once but never won.  Columbus, Minnesota, Winnipeg, (formerly Atlanta) Nashville, San Jose and Phoenix have never been one of the final two teams skating.

The National Basketball Association is comprised of 30 teams and is the least equitable of the four major North American sports leagues when it comes to championships.  Of the NBA’s 30 current squads, only 17 have won titles and only 13 have won a championship playing in the city where they presently reside and under their current moniker.

Of the NBA’s 66 championships exactly half – 33 – have been won by either the Boston Celtics (17) or Minneapolis/Los Angeles Lakers (16.)  Throw in the Chicago Bulls (6) and San Antonio Spurs (4) and it gets downright class warfare silly.

Disregarding your favorite team, who would you want to see win a championship?  Who has it worse, the Arizona Cardinals who haven’t won a championship since 1947 (when they were the Chicago Cardinals) or the Chicago Cubs who have won it all but not for 105 years?

Is it really better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?  This coming NFL season will be the 20th anniversary since the Buffalo Bills reached the Super Bowl for the fourth straight time and, we all know, lost for the fourth straight time.

The Minnesota Vikings have also lost four Super Bowls, the last one coming after the 1976 season.  Does that pain fade over the years?  Are Vikings fans nostalgic for those good old days when they always had their hearts broken?

Cleveland hasn’t boasted a champion since the Browns in 1964 and before that those great teams of the 50s.   The Indians haven’t won it all since 1948 and the Cavaliers never have.  And the Ravens, we all recall, actually used to be the Browns.  But that’s a long time ago.  And far away.

The NFL has reportedly decided that if next season’s Super Bowl which, for the first time, will be played outdoors at a cold weather site (New Jersey), gets hit by a snowstorm the game will be moved to either Saturday or Monday.  Maybe even Tuesday.   Playing a Super Bowl on a Tuesday would be like winning the lottery in Russia.  It just wouldn’t seem trustworthy.

So maybe the only real winner will be the snowflakes.  The parade next season will be for Mother Nature and God’s dandruff.  The snowflakes will hear the chorus of cheers and the winds of triumph.  They’ll descend on grass and engulf the green and refuse to budge.  The snow will put up a goal line stand.  The trophy goes to the flake that fights the hardest.

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The Other Art Howe

February 13, 2013 by 1 Comment

Many will recall Art Howe as a major league baseball player and manager for several teams including the Oakland A’s whom he guided to the playoffs in 2000, 2001 and 2002.

But long before Mr. Howe’s emergence there was another Art Howe who made his bones on the football field.  This other Art Howe is not related to the baseball player but has a shared lineage of passion, grit, and achievement.

The 5-foot-10, 153-pound Arthur Howe played quarterback for Yale from 1909 until 1911.  He was an All-American and helped the Bulldogs win the ’09 national championship on a team that didn’t give up a single point, including an 8-0 season-ending thumping of Harvard.  In 1910 he threw the winning touchdown pass against Princeton in a 5-3 upset. (TDs were just five points back then.)

The next year against Princeton Howe set a national record by returning 18 kicks.  However, Yale lost to the Tigers, 6-3, on that muddy November day in part because Howe is said to have missed six of his seven field goal attempts, connecting only on a 30-yarder.

He was probably a little tired.

Howe was also one of the nation’s best collegiate hockey players and was regarded – according to Wikipedia via the Boston Globe archives – as one of the strongest men on campus.

Howe graduated from Yale in the spring of 1912 and returned that fall as head coach of the Bulldogs, achieving a record of 7-0-1.  One of his players was Walter Camp, Junior, the son of the legendary Yale coach who is considered one of the fathers of American football.

Art Howe coached just one season in New Haven, as Yale changed coaches nearly every year in those days, not having to worry about continuity for recruiting, TV contracts or conference realignment.

After Yale, Howe became a Presbyterian minister and went on to serve as a teacher and administrator at various schools including Hampton.  He was married and had four sons, including one named Arthur Jr. who followed in his father’s footsteps by attending and working at Yale and also served with distinguish in World War II.

Last spring Fay Vincent, the former commissioner of baseball, wrote a piece for the Wall Street Journal in which he remembers the Yale class of 1912 returning to campus in 1962 for a 50th reunion.  Vincent noted that those men of ‘12 were caught in a unique, painful era.  They knew old men who had fought in the Civil War.  Some of those men who graduated in 1912 then fought in World War I and also, like Art Howe, sent their children to World War II and Korea.  By 1962, nuclear weapons terrified the world and the Vietnam War was lurking.

Art Howe was not at his 50th reunion, having died in 1955 (and was posthumously inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame in 1973.)  Certainly the men at that 1962 reunion talked about their old friend Art Howe, the one who had been voted the outstanding member of his class.  Certainly they looked at the football field and the statues on the Yale campus and thought about those they had lost to war and to time.  They must have looked at the young kids of 1962 and thought about their precious days of 1912.

They remembered their quarterback.  A muddy field of memories.  A silent huddle.

 

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The Ballad of Joey Harbaugh

January 31, 2013 by 1 Comment

January 30, 2013

Joey Harbaugh ties off the final surgical stitch and the patient is rolled away into the recovery room.  Joey pulls off his bloodied gloves and drops them into the bin and unties his surgical mask and speaks to the anesthetist.  “Wow!  That temporal lobe was a doozy, wasn’t it?”

“It was, Dr. Harbaugh.  But you handled it.  You always handle it, Dr. Joey Harbaugh.”

Joey nods and smiles.

“Thanks, Binky.  But it’s not about me.  It’s about the team.  And the patient.”

Binky has a tear of worship and love in his eye.

“Yes, Dr. Harbaugh.”

Joey pats Binky on the shoulder and walks down the long hospital corridors stretching his aching body.  He high-fives several orderlies, winks at adoring candy stripers and graciously accepts a bouquet of roses from a small woman in a raincoat and thanks her with a kiss on the cheek and a few words in French.  Joey Harbaugh finds his way to the surgeon’s lounge and sits down to enjoy a Zagnut and a Fresca when a hospital administrator approaches.

“Joey!  You did it!  I just came from the recovery area and spoke to the President of Botswana’s family and they’re thrilled!  He’s going to live!  The peace treaty will be saved and millions of people will have peaceful and more prosperous lives.  It’s your 1,463rd life-saving surgery since 2009 alone and this one was the very best!”

Joey Harbaugh swallows a bit of Zagnut and washes it down with Fresca and smiles at the man with the fish tie.

“Thanks, Mr. Poe.  But you know, I don’t save anyone.  It’s teamwork.  I just help the team to help the patient who then saves themselves and then, hopefully, brings peace and joy to Botswana and perhaps 1/20th of the world’s population.”

Mr. Poe smiles and nods.

“Joey, you’re more than a brilliant surgeon, a mensch and a crafty backgammon player.  You’re a leader, you’re a savior, you’re a quarterback…”

Joey stares daggers into Mr. Poe who clutches his clipboard in terror.

“I mean…Dr. Joey…I’m sorry, I, uh, meant to say…”

Joey Harbaugh smiles.

“Just kiddin’, buddy.  Want some Zagnut?”

Filed Under: General

Pro Bowl Postmortem

January 28, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Like wearing pointy shoes to church or kissing your cousin on the mouth, there are certain things that are fun but just don’t feel right. Put the Pro Bowl in that category.

The NFC prevailed over the AFC, 62-35, in the NFL’s annual All-Star exhibition in Hawaii in a game that, thankfully, had a lot more effort, professionalism, piss, vinegar, and pride than last year’s shameful patty cake poi-fest.

But will it be enough to keep commissioner Roger Goodell from pulling the pineapple on a game that generates less passion than Anne Hathaway’s hair at the SAG Awards? Actually, as many people normally watch the Pro Bowl as the World Series, which proves that baseball has a problem and football – even in faux form – can do little wrong.

Still, the game was not even close to a sellout but that could be because Sundays are also Full House marathon days on the Big Island.

Six players from the Kansas City Chiefs were in Hawaii today and there was also more than one member of the Miami Dolphins and, if you squinted, it may have been possible to spot Doug Flutie on the sidelines. Mr. Flutie could look Russell Wilson right in the eye, which proves that either Doug is taller than we remember or Wilson is shorter than advertised.  It also proves that nice guys may finish last but that doesn’t mean that short guys can’t finish first.

Um….

Texans defensive end J.J. Watt played several snaps at receiver, Packers center Jeff Saturday (who was benched during the regular season) actually played for both teams to give him a chance to have his crotch touched by his old pal Peyton Manning one more time, Vikings tight end Kyle Rudolph was the game’s MVP, and it looked like there were more Patriots cheerleaders than Patriots players. Silly, silly, silly.

Some have suggested the Pro Bowl can be saved with a few major alterations like having college players take on the NFL pros or asking Cris Collinsworth to share more tales of drinking with Jack Lambert. But maybe the biggest improvement could come from insisting that Tom Brady shows up and Jerome Felton does not.

Maybe the Pro Bowl can be played on ice, or a camera could be placed on Ed Hochuli’s triceps. How about players on the winning team get a hug from Michele Tafoya, the losers get a kiss from Al Michaels and the grounds crew has lunch with Kimble Anders?

A really neat Pro Bowl would be one in which both 37 yard lines have their own Twitter feed and Mike McCarthy has to wear one of Tom Landry’s hats.

The Pro Bowl’s fate will be officially decided in April and it’s difficult to imagine what could happen between now and then to persuade Goodell whether to move forward with the world’s most-watched practice or replace it with Steppin’ Out with John Clayton. So, it’s likely that what’s done is done and we’re just waiting for the Commish to open the envelope.

If this was the final Pro Bowl we are left with tender memories. Remember the palm trees, the gentle breeze, the half-hearted tackles and Maurkice Pouncey’s smile. Hold dear to your heart the ridiculous scores, hula skirts and absence of Bears on offense.  Think always of the 50th state far, far away. The land of fake football. The gridiron of a grieving pigskin heart.

 

Filed Under: NFL, Pro Tagged With: ,
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