December 15, 2017

Dear Chicago,

Dear Chicago,

Thank you so much, once again, for all your kindness, hospitality and climate change-friendly December weather during our latest visit to your lovely town.

To be honest, at first we weren’t sure how we would be treated by you big city folk knowing our reputation for leaving the seat up, and also scoring touchdowns in rapid fashion.

But, not to worry, your graciousness and neighborly ways eventually shone through as you promptly stepped out of the way of our receivers, committed penalties against our defensive backs, and refused to take advantage of silly mistakes by our special teams coach and place kicker.

In these troubled times of fiscal cliffs, downsized McRibs and 48-frame Hobbits it’s nice to know there are certain things we can always rely on: things like the slobber of a puppy just after you’ve shaved, the piercing squeal of your cousin’s slacks as he slides off the couch, the smell of ketchup in the trunk on the last night of finals, and the inability of border neighbors to execute on third down.

Some would suggest it would only be right for us to accompany our appreciation with some friendly advice, and perhaps even constructive criticism.  No.  We don’t feel it would be appropriate to suggest to others how they should conduct their secondary and assign their blocking.  Isn’t a true friend one who lets their old pals figure it out for themselves?  Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day.  Teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime.  Show a man how to scout college players and he’ll be drinking your Pabst, driving your Buick and blitzing your wife.  At the same time.

Friendship, like Carl’s Jr., is not a place, but a journey.  It is a passage through rejection, tobacco and satellite dishes dripping with icicles of what you hope is Mountain Dew.  Friendship knows no limits or rules but, regrettably my chum, it does have uprights, sidelines and end zones.

And while we cannot direct you as how to navigate these obstacles we can assure you how greatly we appreciate all you have done and continue to do for our happiness and Frequent Winnebago Miles.

Sadly now, for us, we part ways until next year.  Until that time if you ever feel lonely or curious you can just do what you have done for some time now: look up and see us.


Green Bay.

P.S. – Sorry about the jelly stains on the towels.

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